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It's getting to that time of year that I, a candy/chocoholic, always dread...

...the end of Easter and the accompanying candy season, which won't start again until roughly August when the Hallowe'en candy starts showing up in stores...

Think about it...for Hallowe'en we not only have fun-sized everything but also candy corn, orange/black M&ms, and pumpkin shaped candies. In many areas, this is also the only time of year you can buy Frankenberry and Booberry cereals (at least here, Count Chocula is available year-round).

then, as soon as it's November 1, we have the Christmas candy on the shelves...red and green everything (M&m's, etc.), santa shaped stuff, but also the candy canes galore (as well as all kinds of candy cane and maybe even egg nog flavored stuff).

Then, we get Valentine's candy...hearts, cherry cordials, big heart shaped boxes (like Whitman samplers, etc).

Then, we get Easter candy (including peeps, Cadbury eggs, robin's eggs and jelly beans (though peeps are starting to appear in shapes for ALL the above holidays too)). Also, during roughly the same time as the Easter stuff, during the month of March, we have Shamrock shakes at McDonalds for St. Patrick's day...

Then...it's just a LONG wait until August AGAIN...

Please, candy manufacturers. It's time to create Fourth of July candy.

Instead of Reese's peanut butter cup pumpkins, santas, hearts and eggs couldn't we please have star shaped? How about red/white/blue: Peeps/candy corn/jelly beans/m&m's/skittles?

I don't know...what summer candy is there (besides possibly salt water taffy or those red/white/blue "firecracker" popsickles)?


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 26th, 2009 10:45 pm (UTC)
I'm pretty sure I've seen Red, White & Blue patriotic M&M's for Independence Day.
Mar. 28th, 2009 01:46 am (UTC)
Candy - a monologue
Hi. (waves. goes to chair.) I love candy. It’s sweetness. Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! I love it, I love it, I love it! That’s why Halloween used to be my first favorite holiday, then Easter, then Christmas. Then I got older, and found out I didn’t have to wait until those holidays. I just had to wait until Friday. Friday was payday. Dad would come home and surprise me with some kind of candy. Maybe Chuckles, sometimes Bottle Caps or Razzles. Mmmm, the gum candy. Sometimes just gum - mainly Juicy Fruit, but it could have been Fruit Stripe or Wagner’s Chocolate gum. Oh, man, Wagner’s chocolate gum. That was the best. Didn’t really taste like chocolate, though. It tasted like fake chocolate. But I loved it. And teaberry. Then teaberry came out again as a popular flavor so I didn’t like it as much again. But candy. The world revolved around you. Not real chocolate. Not like some people. Some people LOVE chocolate. They need it, they want it, they have to have it! Not me. I can’t stand it. Hershey’s could dissappear tomorrow and I wouldn’t care. Not unless they were making white chocolate. Man, oh, man, white chocolate is the best, like white chocolate rabbits at Easter time, or white chocolate crucifixes. Mmm, mmm. Not hollow, though, that was a cheat. Had to be solid white chocolate. I can still see a big white bunny sitting in a small wicker basket filled with green shredded cellophane grass and big jelly beans. Oh jelly beans - I liked the black ones a lot, they tasted like black licorice or something, and I don’t really like black licorice - just strawberry, cherry, and chocolate. They were there though, right next to the peeps. Those little yellow birdies made of nothing but sugar. Marshmellowy kind of things. Not that great soft, so I wouldn’t touch them, not at first. But after a couple of days exposed to the air, maybe a week of that, and good God they were great! Crunch my teeth down on one, and feel the gritty sugar scraping my gums. Oh, sweet overloading goodness. Crunchy, yet soft when chewed. One of the wonders of the world, peeps. Now they have them all of the time. Peeps brand rabbits and Jesus’ for Easter, Peeps brand Snowmen, Peeps brand Santas and Angels, Peeps Bats, Leprechauns, Menorahs, American Flags, Turkeys, Presidents, Hearts, Teachers, Mothers, Parents, Spanish Exploration Ships. If there’s a holiday, there’s probably a peep for it. Cadbury Cream Eggs will be next, probably. Cadbury Cream Santas and Vampires, right? There good too. Except they have that chocolate egg around the sugar filling. You ever hear that thing, that Urban Legend about Mikey from the Life Commercials? The one where he died because he ate pop rocks and a Coke? It wouldn’t kill you if you did do that, just give you back stomach pains and a lot of gas. I’ve done it. I only drink Coca-Cola with Candy. The sugar high is great. It feeds me, it nourished me, it fulfils me. My soul is full after eating some runts and nerds washed down with a 2-liter of Coke. Halloween is great. The stores sell bags of candy. Big old bags full of little candy bars and candy packages. Bottle Caps - oh the rootbeer bottlecaps give me a reason to live. And swedish fish - both red and purple. And Twizzlers. Oh candy. The best part is that Friday is my pay day now and I can buy all of the candy I want. And I do. I buy bags of it to last through the weekend. I’ll never get enough of it. I’ll never have my fill. (pause) I’ll never be satisfied. (pause) That’s not true. That can’t be true. I will be satisfied and content someday, right? Contentment will be mine, right. My dream was to have enough money so I’d never run out of candy. I have enough money that I’m always supplied. As long as I can keep buying and the companies can keep making enough, nothing will ever be wrong with life on Earth.
Oompa, Loompa, Oompadidoo
Willy Wonka was too chocolate oriented.
I’ve got another secret for you.
(dumps bag of candy)
Foul sugar! Foul demonspawn sugar! Release me from your sweet, sweet grip. Mmm, sweet tarts.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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