Bryan F. Irrera (bfirrera) wrote,
Bryan F. Irrera

Are You FUCKING Kidding Me? - an open letter to Rebecca Heiland-Leeds-Jackson

Look, Becky, some things we have to get clear: The world does not revolve around you nor does it bend to your will simply because you stamp your feet and whine about it. The world is not out to get you because WE are wrong, but because YOU are.

The court papers that grant Kris his visitation with Maia allow him to keep her until 7pm on a Tuesday night. No matter how many times he may have bowed to your will in the past (because you threw a temper tantrum and it was better to shield Maia from that) and brought her home at 6:30pm does not mean that he HAS to. When Heather dropped her off the other night, it was not appropriate to berate her for returning Maia legally on time (simply because you wished it to be earlier), and in fact could possibly be considered illegal (harassment).

But, that's not what this post is about. This post is about the fact that you decided to throw Paul and I in Heather's face, somehow blaming Kris and Heather for the decline and fall of our friendship. No, Becky, that's all in YOUR corner.

1) though you had the entire summer of 2007 off from work (you are a teacher), I never once heard from you (beyond a single phone call at the beginning of the summer when you asked if I'd want to go out solely on that specific night and I'd already made plans with Jarvis (and I wouldn't be seeing him until after 10:30pm either since I was working that day). When I'd suggested other activities for us, you declined. When I tried to make plans in the future with you, you declined primarily because you didn't know what Fred may already might have planned for you in some unspecific future date (in essence treating me as solely an emergency back-up friend who you could only do something with if your plans ever fell through). At one point the previous fall (2006), we'd discussed going to the King Tut exhibit at the Franklin Institute in 2007. When I called to ask about specific dates with you, you told me you'd ALREADY gone with just Fred, though we'd discussed going as a foursome.

2) when Paul took ill and was rushed to the hospital, I text messaged everyone of our friends (and called/wrote others who I didn't have in my phone or who I wasn't sure had text on their phone). You immediately texted back with "let me know if there is anything I can do"...I wrote back that I mostly needed someone to talk to, so I could keep my spirits up. I never heard back from you.

3) You squated on our wedding date weekend, making your wedding plans for the DAY AFTER ours (thereby making it inconvenient to be in OUR wedding), though we'd made the date over a year before. You then pulled out of our wedding because Kris was invited (a pussy move on your part, for sure).

4) You had the cats brought to the ASPCA to be euthanised, though there are no-kill shelters available and only told Kris that this had happened AFTER the cats were dead (that's the more important fact of this case). Evelyn said that she would have taken the cats if you'd only asked her, but you stopped being her friend when she had the audacity of being thoughtless and mean by getting CANCER (I mean, didn't she know that your mother died of Cancer? How rude of her!).

5) Let's not forget WAY WAY back when you two first separated...Paul and I were trying to stay as impartial as possible (though what we witnessed/heard week to week made that difficult). We had spent so MANY Tuesdays at Kris and Becky's that we tried to continue that by alternating between the two. We were doing good until we finally introduced Fred into the mix the one night to try. The chemistry wasn't the same, true, and yes, Paul wasn't exactly in the best mood either that night because he'd been very guarded about not befriending Fred. About this time, Kris and Heather were BOTH helping us with the cleanup of Paul's mother's house and we'd slowly gotten to know her (though, again, Paul was reluctant to get close to her as well). The week after that dinner at your house, Kris, Paul, Matt (Kris' roommate) were planning to host a "guy's poker night" and had invited some other guy friends. I'd befriended Lauren (Matt's then girlfriend and Kris/Heather's other roommate at the time) and decided to show a "chick flick" to her that same night, just to balance out (since I would want something to do and wouldn't want to play poker, but still wanted to be with Paul, Kris and Matt). Yes, Heather was also there (though she came home late from work). We'd invited Jarvis (who at the time was very vocally on your side, primarily due to the co-dependent nature of your relationship (not to mention the near-romantic nature of said relationship at the time)) who decided to tell you about it. That night, you left a snivelling crying barely coherent message on our answering machine and then the next night you went to the movie theatre to yell at PAUL for your "betrayal" by me of spending time "with the woman that Kris cheated on Becky with" (and having the audacity to be offended by any reference to Fred as "the man that Becky cheated on Kris with").

To conclude: YOU were the one who created the toxicity in this friendship. Not ME.

...we now return to our regularly scheduled programming, already in progress...

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