Bryan F. Irrera (bfirrera) wrote,
Bryan F. Irrera

Oscars - rants and raves

Okay, I've had a nice slow weekend, lots of rest. I actually got to read TWENTY comics this afternoon AND watch a movie ("Crazy Love" - a documentary about a demented love story between an obsessed man and the woman he disfigured by throwing lye in her face - riveting and strange and hopeful in an odd way (if these two can find love with one another, than anyone can)), before settling down to the Oscars.

Costume design. Yes, the costumes in "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" were beautiful, but from the looks of it, the costumes in "Across the Universe" went beyond the 1960's period it was set in and off into a completely original fantasy. Why do they always ignore the original costumes for period pieces? So frustrating!!!

already a film montage? Boy! They are starting early aren't they? I guess this shows how much they didn't get a chance to write much, huh?

Animated feature: (what the hell is Anne Hathaway WEARING? Yuck! Didn't she learn anything in the "Princess Diaries" movies?) RATATOUILLE? Are you fucking kidding me? Look, I love Disney as much as the next guy, okay? But, isn't it time that something that is eye-opening/enlightening/ART also worthy of getting an award? The original source-material was hailed by Time as one of the best comics of 2003 and the film adaptation won the jury prize at Cannes. It's been compared to Art Spiegelman's "Maus" for fuck's sake!

Make-up: (speaking of make-up, Katherine Heigl is wearing WAY too much of it) okay, one I agree with...Thank GOD I don't have to label "Norbit" as an Oscar winner tomorrow! I saw this bio-pic of Edith Piaf about a month ago and my jaw dropped by how they transformed this woman throughout (to so many different age ranges as well).

The songs: I'm skipping the songs from "Enchanted" since I haven't seen it yet and don't want to be spoiled (I'm rooting for the couple from "Once" anyway!)

Visual Effects: (The Rock is someone who does NOT deserve to be there...he will never get an Oscar unless hell freezes over) Golden Compass won? Wow! take that Religious Right! (any of the nominees were truly deserving here, though I'm just glad that Transformers didn't win)

Art Direction: (Cate Blanchette's hair looks terrible and that dress is hideous, though the color is spectacular) Sweeney Todd. I also have a problem with this one since there has been a play to draw inspiration from for YEARS (including a DVD of the original cast to watch and crib from).


Best Supporting Actor: (Jennifer Hudson: now THAT's CLASS! You go, girl!) (Javier Bardem looks SO hot tonight) Not having seen any of these performances, but having seen other performances by Mr. Bardem, I'm sure he deserves it (I've got to Netflix more of his resume).

(skipping the Gospel song and the two joke montages)

Live Action Short Film (no opinion since I'll likely never see any of these) (what was Owen Wilson of all people nominated for?)
Animated Short Film (again with the fucking montages - again with no opinion since I'll likely never see any of these)

Best Supporting Actress: Tilda Swinton...I've seen only one of the performances this year and am glad that Amy Ryan was at least nominated, because she was completely fearless in her role. Cate Blanchett unfortunately may suffer from already having a statue at home and this role being seen as too showy. I've seen Tilda in other things and beyond her icy cold looks, she does slip deeply into her roles. Probably very deserved. However, if anyone needs a trip to a tanning salon (and it could be one of those spray-on tans) it is certainly her.

Jessica Alba: way too shiny (she must share beauty tips with Charlize Theron)

Best adapted screenplay: (Barbra's son-in-law is still pretty handsome) Coen Brothers win...again haven't seen any of these, but have seen other stuff by the Coen Brothers. Probably deserved and nice to see the love being spread around throughout the night and well balanced.

boring rules montage instead of the boring rules speech

Mylie Cyrus - cute, simple but elegant dress, not sure about the hair though (but I guess they wouldn't let her wear a Hannah Montana wig). Still skipping the Enchanted song, even if it's sung by Kristen Chenowith (though this is nice that they have her hear since she's soon to be heard singing for another Disney princess in the forthcoming Rapunzel).

sound editing: (Seth Rogan may be hot, but I'll miss his look from "Superbad"...and the writers are REALLY struggling with the banter tonight). Uhm, I'm sorry, but I'd have to go with either Ratatouille or Transformers on this one. They would have had to MAKE UP most of the sounds for the animated/special effects stuff and would have been doing something completely from whole cloth. Why give the award to sound editing to a film that could use existing sound?

Sound mixing: aren't they the exact same award/nominees? why bother?

best actress: Marillon Cotillard! AWESOME! She was fantastic! (and little Ellen Page is SO young and DID win the Independent Spirit Award and will have so many more opportunities). I loved this film SO much. (and God Bless Cate Blanchett for having such a beautiful happy reaction to can see she was a fan).

Colin Farrell - greasy, probably smelly, but I still wouldn't kick him out of my bed. Oh, the things I could do to HIM!

song from Once - so beautiful. It's my favorite song from the whole piece...

BEST PICTURE montage, too...okay, I get it. It's the 80th year, but geez, enough with the Montages...and we haven't yet had the important with the dead people yet!

Renee Zelweiger - didn't know who she was at first, since I'd fast-forwarded just past her introduction and I couldn't figure out which woman in a gorgeous gown didn't know how to walk properly (she must never have done the pageant circuit when she was young). Renee...get yourself some fag to show you how to walk in heels!

Film Editing: boy, they're really sucking the Bourne Ultimatum dick for the technical categories aren't they?

Nicole Kidman: I love her and think she's beautiful in movies. Why does she always look like a robot at the Oscars? (speaking of Nicole Kidman...watched "Margot at the Wedding", if brutal film. Nicole Kidman deserved a nomination for this role, but the Academy rarely rewards female villains. Very complex role for Kidman, which she totally took on with gusto. Great performances by both Jack Black (surprising, I know) and Jennifer Jason Leigh (who is still on top of her game)).

Cameron Diaz shown on camera while Nicole is speaking: girl, stick to the spray-on tans and stay away from the tanning are turning your skin into leather!

Montage tribute to some old guy...Robert Boyle? Robert Doyle?

Foreign Language film: (I understand that since it's a foreign language film, they think it appropriate for someone from a foreign country to give the award, but isn't that just mean to make someone with an accent mangle all of those names?) haven't seen any of these, but just from the clips shown, I've already added "the Counterfeiters" to my Netflix queue...

Best song: (This is also John Travolta's favorite category because he's a faggot...) YAY! I knew that putting THREE songs from Enchanted would split the vote (and hell, Once is SO deserving of this award)! (and I'm so happy that nothing from "Hairspray" was nominated (you know they always write at least one new song for stage to screen musicals just to place a spot in this category...!)).

after commercial: Jon Stewart and the Oscar producers are class acts for allowing Markéta Irglová to come out and do her own acceptance speech (since she had run out of time before the commercial).

Cameron Diaz - beautiful dress. Again, the skin and the hair look terrible. Did the hairdressers go on strike now?

Best cinematography: no Bourne Ultimatum (just kidding)?

new Karate Kid: what a figure on this girl...still a shame about those big teeth...

the death montage...I still wish people could have some common courtesy and hold their applause for the end so it doesn't turn into a popularity contest (the people behind the camera always getting far less than those in front , but at least Deborah Kerr, Suzanne Pleshette and Ingmar Bergman all got much larger applause than that fucking asshole Heath Ledger ("so you get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!"))...though, really, FUCK JACK VALENTI...may he burn in hell for maintaining the censoring, art destroying/supressing ratings board...

Best original score: only saw Ratatouille, but the little clips they played I would have preferred 3:10 to Yuma winning (it sounded very stirring), but's just a technical award. Congrats to Atonement (again, nice to see everything getting a little something tonight...sharing the wealth is a nicer evening than something winning a clean sweep).

documentary short subject: nice to bring the soldiers in, but sucks for the filmmakers who won't even have the little clip of their film shown to all the people who will never get to see their film (winning or not).

documentary long subject: Sicko was great filmmaking by Michael Moore (though I could only stomach half of it, before it made me too emotional to watch the rest, since I'd obtained it during the beginning of Paul's health crisis) and I look forward to Taxi to the Dark Side (and I really want that one to win after all the struggle the filmmakers are having getting their film even advertised (with the aforementioned ratings board balking at their POSTER for being too graphic when it simply shows two soldiers leading a prisoner away while severed limbs are routinely shown on the posters of the many sequels to Saw).....YAY! Sight unseen, I'm still glad for the makers of Taxi to the Dark Side (it's on my Netflix queue and I anxiously await it's arrival on DVD).

Harrison Ford is still incredibly dashing (though I'm not a fan of Indiana Jones and don't plan on seeing it, I would gladly see him in the Han Solo vest again).

Best original screenplay: JUNO! Great! Loved this movie and thought it was full of great quotable lines. I look forward to whatever else may be in the mind of Diablo Cody!

Best actor montage - what the hell was Bette Davis wearing on her head? She looks like she's either a member of the lollipop guild or she was playing Ming the Merciless!!!? Or was she playing Tuptim in a community theatre production of King and I? -- Robert DeNiro: damn, was he HOT back in the 70's!

Best actor: (Helen Mirren: love the red gown, but not loving the sleeves...they make her look too matronly and she's still smoking hot at her advanced age so that's a shame)

Best director: Coen Brothers - again, this is cool, since they have a great body of work behind them.

Best motion picture: that was a no brainer - No Country for Old Men wins both best (adapted) screenplay and best direction, so deduction tells you that it should also be the best picture.

That's a wrap. 3h:19m when Jon Stewart said thank you and goodnight. I finished in 2h:45m (started at 10:30 and fast forwarded...not the fastest I've done...I've usually managed to catch up to the end and see the final award in real time...this time I was about twenty minutes behind give or take a few.).
Tags: awards/oscars

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