Bryan F. Irrera (bfirrera) wrote,
Bryan F. Irrera
bfirrera

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Divorce...

I'm a little perplexed lately.

A couple of friends of ours are on the verge of getting a divorce (it's pretty much probalby a done deal except for the signing of papers and stuff by now).

I don't get why people even fucking BOTHER TO GET MARRIED if they're going to FUCK IT UP!

When I was a kid, when my parents first got separated, I was in kindergarten. Lord only knows when the final proclamation was signed 'cause I was living with my grandparents by then. I was the odd duck back then. The ONLY kid in my class with divorced parents. I didn't meet another kid with divorced parents until I was in fifth grade.

Nowadays, of the three other familes of kids that lived on that street: Jorge and Bob's parents are divorced, as are Kim and Edmund's (both sets happening while we were college age). Jorge himself has been divorced and remarried. Of the third family, the Montgomerys, their middle son, Scott, is also now divorced.

Of my friends in college: Michael's parents are divorced, Darryl got divorced, Dina got divorced, Shareen got divorced, Michelle is divorced, Michaela is divorced and remarried.

Other friends and family: Paul's parents, Paul's grandparents, Jarvis' parents, Irene's parents... another very close friend of mine (who is herself the mother of other friends) recently left her husband (granted, she'd been saying she'd do it ever since I've known her).

Not to mention all the couples we know from the community theatre(s) that have broken up (sometimes helped by backstage romances).

What the fuck, people?
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And then you hear this bullshit that statistically couples that have been together longer than five years before getting married are more likely to get divorced. Paul and I have been together for nearly fourteen and living together for nearly eleven. We CAN'T get married, legally. Would that count for us? I don't want to be superstitious over such a thing as marraige/commitment/whatever the fuck they want to call it. After all the shit we've been through together, I can't imagine anything tearing us apart (though I've gotten the feeling every so often that some "friends" have tried to do it by trying to poison us against each other...we just refuse to fall for it and I can tell it drives them crazy.).

So, she made you change your job to one less lucrative and she's still spending too much money and bankrupting you? Cut her credit cards! Some other guy put his dick in her (or him)? Get over it...why let THAT ruin it for you (I never understood the big problem with sex with others. The only problem is if your partner is EMOTIONALLY attached to their new play date)? You have different hobbies/interests now that you're both adults? Find some middle ground or maybe you could both try something ELSE together. He/she is doing drugs or something else unsavory...get them help...an intervention maybe or put them in a rehab center.

You just have to except the good with the bad people. You said vows in front of your families and friends swearing that you'd stick by each other no matter what...that's what that whole "in sickness and in health" schpiel is supposed to be about if you weren't paying attention.

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Granted there are really GOOD reasons for divorces: one of the partners is physically (or otherwise) abusing the other or their children, for instance. I do think that all the gay guys who are married to women owe it to their wives to finally come out of the closet and STOP LYING to themselves, their wives and to society. I'm sure there are other things, but none are currently coming to mind.
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