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Quickly updating -

I know it's probably been about a month since I posted anything about Paul or myself. Mostly, that's due to that fact that I've been exhausted physically and mentally. When I'm not at work or driving to and from work, I feel like I'm sleeping or getting ready for bed...

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He's been home for a month now. He still has two big open wounds in his abdomen. We take him to the hospital daily for dressing changes in the morning (and I change his dressings at night). This is one factor in my exhaustion...that lack of sleep. We've been getting up daily between 6:30am and 7:00am. I'm generally a night owl who is used to staying up 'til at least 1:00am. I've been going to bed between 11:30pm and 12:00am nightly (and this is with working until 10:00pm at FYE and a half hour drive home...my wind down time is only about an hour then my eyes start drooping).

His wounds are healing though and we should hopefully only have to keep this routine up for another week and a half or so...(we'll still have to contend with the colostomy bags for a few months, though...that surgery should be reversed in January most likely).

We've had a fairly scatological month learning about the temperment of the bags...we've had a few minor disasters, but mostly have kept it together...

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At work, though we have a much smaller store at Hamilton Mall than I was used to at Vineland and we have much less actual business in the store, I feel like Lucy at the candy factory some days 'cause there's only five of us now (three managers, two associates...one of whom isn't really that great).

On top of it, I feel that our company really doesn't understand the changing landscape of our business (or they do only too well)...we have to evolve past the focus on solely CDs and DVDs. We have to find the next thing. Unfortunately, that seems to mean only WAY TOO MANY iPod cases/accessories (unfortunately, already out of date since most of our stock is sized to the old thin nanos). I guess that we should be focusing more energy on games, but they don't send much of THOSE either to us (we haven't even seen a Wii system in our store in about three to four months now). It doesn't help that many people have moved on to solely downloading movies and music (like it or not).

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Today is my birthday...I'm 40 years old. I don't know if I'm where I would have expected myself to be at this age, BUT...I've got a partner who I love and who loves me (we still hope to have some kind of wedding/civil union ceremony in November...I don't know if we two procrastinators will pull that off or not...we can certainly exchange vows anyway but I'm not sure about any kind of reception/dinner). I also have a new conflict on that front. Our friend, Becky, who feels more and more like our former friend, Becky, apparently has planned her own new wedding on the same weekend as when we intend to hold our ceremony. WTF? Whatever. It's not like we really interact anymore. And I don't want to hear that I haven't called her. The phone works both ways. She was off the ENTIRE summer and I never once heard from her 'cause she had her head rammed so far up her new boyfriend's ass. We used to say that we were R.J.'s "emergency backup friends" 'cause he wouldn't make plans with us or would quickly break plans with us if his other friends might make plans with him. I feel that Becky has been doing that with everyone for Fred's sake...

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Meanwhile, some fun news, at least to those of us who enjoy a little Schadenfreude...someone was disgruntled with the way Lisa has been running Cumberland Players lately and apparently, they spray painted some kind of graphitti on the building!. Ha Ha! Too funny! I just wish I knew what they painted (I couldn't see it when I drove by the other day).

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That's another thing...Why oh why when I was dealing with all that Paul's health shit did God have to throw all those assholes in my path? Apparently, Brian Garrison is also very sick and was also in the hospital at the same time. I ended up pretty much having to walk through a gauntlet of them while they were all going to visit him (they actually thought I was there to see Brian...absurd, considering we were NEVER friends. I don't wish him ill but I'm not exactly mournful over him...I'm sorry, that's callous but truthful). The dragon lady herself, Lisa, was there in the parking lot when I got to my car and actually had the audacity to SMILE at me for Christ's sake...fuck you, lady.

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I went to Philly yesterday. It's funny, I ended up only spending about ten minutes at Outfest. I'd totally forgotten about it and it was just something to walk through to get where I was going. I don't really see the point of it. It kind of like a whole 'nother Pride event, this time blocking traffic off in the middle of the gayborhood. There were stages set up and TONS of booths with vendors and food (maybe more than was actually at the Pride event itself). I kind of got cynical that it's all just a big business thing. How many fucking things with the obnoxious rainbow flag on it does one person really need?

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I went to the Liberty Bears meeting and social at the Bike Stop...some of the people seem very nice. I think I'll enjoy this year and may even pledge with the group. I like that there are many who really want to be active in charities and the like as an organization. But, the downside is that there seem to also be some of the same prissy mincing queen assholes in this group (they are just fat and hairy now). There was one guy in particular who was EXTREMELY drunk (why is it that so many social events amongst the gays have to revolve around alcohol?) who spouted some pretty offensive misogynistic and heterophobic crap. I don't want to hear homophobic crap from the straights why would I want to hear the same bullshit flipped on it's head from this douchebag? Hopefully, he was an aberration and there aren't many more like him around.

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I guess with this entry I may have gotten some of my groove back. Hopefully, you'll be seeing more of me again more often. I'm sorry I've neglected everyone on here (trust that I've just been in heavy lurk mode and have at least been reading posts).

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
notmypresident
Oct. 9th, 2007 12:35 am (UTC)
Happy 40th! Glad to see that you're working through the troublesome moments and keeping an eye on the future.
lahabiel
Oct. 9th, 2007 01:37 am (UTC)
I'm thinking good thoughts about both of you ... I know if anyone can maintain a sense of humor through something like that, it's you and Pab.

Tell Pab he's doing a weird impression of .... LARGE BIRD! :)

And if you pull off the wedding, I'll get there somehow, whatever day you pick.
weelisa
Oct. 9th, 2007 01:47 am (UTC)
Happy Burfday!!
brchase
Oct. 9th, 2007 01:52 am (UTC)
Happy Birthday!
My thoughts are with you guys.
*hugz*
lucindalunacy
Oct. 9th, 2007 03:52 am (UTC)
Happy Birthday!! I hope things even out for you sometime soon.

I know what you mean about inconsiderate friends. I have quite a few now. Blah. (not you! cuz we're not that close yet and you have all kinda drama going on)

I've always wondered how to meet people without going to bars to be friends. I can't figure it out yet. blah.

I agree with you the commercialization of Pride now. I don't even bother much anymore.

Hang in there! *HUGS*

lordrexfear
Oct. 9th, 2007 01:44 pm (UTC)
Happy Birthday man! And stay strong, you sound like you have a lot on your plate, but you know how to juggle well.
suburban_panic
Oct. 9th, 2007 06:49 pm (UTC)
Ack. I looked at the calendar yesterday and said "oh, I need to wish Bryan a happy birthday." And it slipped my mind by the time I got to the computer, of course.

Happy belated. I wish you much happiness and less aggravation.
thumpermarni
Oct. 10th, 2007 01:42 am (UTC)
Comcast screwed up last night and killed our internet so I didn't get to give you a happy birthday!
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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